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[06 Feb 2003|07:43pm] |
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Simple Plan; I'd Do Anything |
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[[ Whatever happened in this journal below this entry was all part of another RP and I am no longer involved in. I do not feel like deleting cuz it'll take me forever and a day. So... ]]
What's up? Wade is the name. I teach people how to dance. It's fun. Maybe I should teach Good Charlotte some day.
I know I'm considered Pop, but I'm an exception. Ha. Some others are too. And just yeah, I have no idea what I'm saying.
The IM is wishiwerewade so get to IMing me when I'm on and I'll see you all around.
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| Hello. |
[28 Jan 2003|10:34am] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
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Lasgo; Something |
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Okay, I got to remember I have this thing. Truth of the matter is I really don't care anymore because as you can see my life is over? I mean I like how Natalie is simply living her life fine and I have to sit here miserable.
Oh well, I think that JC and Justin have taken good care of me. Either way, I'll live and be fine. I see that AJ is back and well :-/ okay. He told me he forgot his password already so I guess that's some sort of sign.
I also like the fact that the guys of Good Charlotte have taken of PSA. Haha. They're great guys. And now we've got Seb from Simple Plan. :-X ;)
Well, I'll be around guys. I just hope I'm actually missed this time.
~Wade
PS. Happy Birthday Nick. I hope it's great. And Joey, you too man. You deserve to have a great day as well. And incase y'all didn't know it's also Elijah Wood's b-day!
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| So hey... |
[06 Jan 2003|11:23pm] |
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mood |
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amused |
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Well, I signed the divorce papers for Natalie. I did it on my own free will too. I felt like I might as well just get it over with. I will always love her, yes. She something really special to me and words will never ever be able to discribe what I feel for and will always feel for her.
But it's time to move on and I feel really horrible, but I did really quickly...I mean sorta. See (and has horrible as this may sound) JC offered me something with him and Justin. And it kind of scared me at first but then things just went and happened and well woah. I don't know what to do with it. *shrugs* I don't think I could ever be in a relantionship like that...but perhaps all for fun and things? *shrugs* Till I find someone who surpass Natalie?
Yeah, that's it.
Tonight was fun Jayce. *dies* You're too good for me! Too fast so to speak. And Justin...*smirks* You're welcome.
And that's all for now! ;)
~Wade
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| *cries* |
[04 Jan 2003|10:21pm] |
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I'm crying my eyes out, that's what you hear. |
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I thought I had it all. I thought I had everything. I loved her with all my heart and just because a little misunderstanding that could have been worked out our whole marrige is a mistake. I can't believe this. I guess what they say about love is true.
This is all my fault too. I rushed things. I should have listened to you guys. The ones that care about me.
Well I'll be damned okay.
And this is my crying my eyes out and wishing I never lived...EVER.
What does it take for a man to be happy. *sighs* I never loved anyone like I loved her and who cares if it was all in one day. She showed me everything I ever wanted in only 2 damn seconds. I did what I thought was right. But yeah, screw that. Nothing is right in my life.
~Wade
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| Overdue Update. |
[27 Dec 2002|01:46pm] |
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mood |
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 drained |
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music |
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LeAnn Rimes ~ The Safest Place |
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Sorry I haven't in a while. You know how I get. I haven't even been that busy. I'm just being lazy.
I had an okay Christmas. It wasn't the best. It felt really awkward without my father if you know what I'm talking about. *sighs* Sometimes I just miss him a little too much.
Then after Christmas, I tried getting back in contact with Natalie but it seems as if she's avoiding me. I hope I didn't do something. And her last update scared me. Really it did. She hates me? And Erik needs to stop telling me she's doing Leonardo because that would just kill me inside. I know she wouldn't do that ever to me. She's not like that.
I can't even think what I would do if something like that was going down. I'd break down and cry. I hate crying. Just if someone finds Natalie before I do please tell her I'm looking for and I love her.
And that's all from me...
I wanna be strong
But I don't wanna be alone tonight
I wanna believe that I can save the world
And make it right
But I believe that you've got a hero's face
Right here in your arms is safest place
As long as I'm with you
As long as I can feel you
That's all I need to keep me going
On and on and on and on....
I wanna believe that I can save the world
And make it right
But I believe that you've got a hero's face
Right here in your arms is safest place
Right here in your arms is safest place....
The safest place...
~Wade
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| So.... |
[17 Dec 2002|11:58pm] |
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mood |
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 calm |
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music |
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Simple Plan; I'll Do Anything |
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TRL today. *sighs* Do they not know when to shut the fuck up? I mean really why in the world would I want to be with Britney. Okay, yes at one point we fooled around. But what that was like before she was even officially with Justin. And well she's married now. I am too. I know the media can't know any of these but for them to make up rumors about us just isn't right.
When you think about that "kiss" it wasn't even on the lips so how in the FUCK it's considered "the kiss that started it all"??? Number 1 it was a friendly kiss and it was on Britney Live. Justin was right there with her and he didn't even say anything. He knew it was friendly. So what the hell? These petty little things make me so angry.
So y'all please don't get your panties in a wad. We're all friends and we all get along and we all support each other.
So speaking of my lovely wife, guess what? I STILL love her more than anything in this world. And everyday that I'm with her, I don't want to leave it. What we share is very hard to find and so I can't lose it. I see her every so often and I really wish it was more.
I do kind of envy Britney and Dan right now. *sniffles and laughs* A baby between to people is really special. And I think that Natalie would the worlds most beautiful mother. *smiles contently*
That's all for now guys, much love.
~Wade
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| Long time no update once again. |
[29 Nov 2002|04:35pm] |
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mood |
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exhausted |
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Avril Lavigne; Nobody's Fool |
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I'm sorry. You know I love you all.
I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving. Mine was eh. I did however get to Natalie. So that all turned into an eventful night. *smiles* She's so wonderful! I love her too damn much.
Now that she is in my arms (where she belongs) I am NOT going to let her go. At all. Nope. She's here with me forever and ever till she has to go. I'd go and make this entry all sappy but I don't want to make anyone cry.
I love you sweetheart and that's all for now folks. I'm around and you know where to reach me! :)
~Wade
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| Well hi... |
[16 Nov 2002|01:44am] |
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mood |
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 anxious |
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I'm really lacking the updates but I don't have anything to say. My life is pretty complete and that's all you need to know. Ok, well it's not completly complete. . . I miss Natalie so much it's begining to make me just hop on a plane and visist her. I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner. I must make my move. I just hate being so far away. I will do this as soon as I'm not as busy. I'm promoting for things in NY. They'll becoming your way soon. So yeah. *shrugs* Screw it all, Natalie far way more important.
I hope all well with everyone else. Deryck I'll be at your wedding, hopefully. Justin, glad your mom is here. Christina, maybe if you beg you'll get some family members. I love you either way! It would be cool if my sister or brother got a journal.
And that is all from meeeeee.
~Wade
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| You don't know what it's like... |
[06 Nov 2002|06:20pm] |
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mood |
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Miss You Like Crazy ~ Dream |
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To miss someone as much as I miss my wife. My life without her right now is so hurtful. Why did she decided to go to college? I need her. I need more than anything right now. It's nothing bad, I can survive alone but the pain inside hurts because I haven't had her near my side since October 1st.
This makes me realize I am more in love with her than I thought I was. It's like she's some part of me that I need in order to live and without her near me, I kinda can't. I will be okay though...
I just would give anything to touch her right now.
Everyone is close together with their loved ones. I feel left out. I just want to be close to her, more than anything. I wonder if that's too much to ask.
I have no more left to write.
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| I've got more to say, but I don't when I'll say it... |
[24 Oct 2002|02:17pm] |
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Hello and long time no update, but you’ll have to excuse me because I’m so much in love that everyday is a new day exploring something new about my wife. I love her so damn much and God, it’s such a wonderful feeling. I am going to be surprising her with something very special that I have planned and then after that it’ll be coffee and whoopee! *giggles* Hehehehe. And oh, I know most of you all don’t care but I have gotten a new screen name because I was bored and stuff and this is just really better so you better IM me on this. If you don’t I hate you!
It is: x wade r0bs0n x - I had to use zero’s instead of O’s because some loser already had my name, but I think this makes it more unique don’t you think? Buhbye! ~Wade
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| I love Natalie. |
[12 Oct 2002|10:48am] |
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Life Goes On; LeAnn Rimes |
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I just want to let her know that because I know she feels that I'm distant and I haven't been myself lately, although I like to pretend that I am and that I try to sound like I'm okay when really I'm not. But it has nothing to with her at all. It's only the fact that I've never been so happy in my life and that when I'm apart from her it's so hard to just try and pretend like everything is okay. I do promise I will never leave her.
And I have to admit her update, it made me sob. I love her. I love her words. And I love everything about her. I mean everythig. Her lips, her nose, her hair, her smile, the way she makes me feel, her body, her soul, her life, just her, everything...
~Wade
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| Hi. |
[10 Oct 2002|12:16am] |
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mood |
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bouncy |
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Talking with Natalie |
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Long time no update, but I don't need to update cuz nothing in my life has changed. It's been perfect and I don't want it to change. If it does I might cry. I brought Natalie a kitty-cat tonight. Although at first she didn't want it, I got it for her anyway. He's so cute. . .
Take A Look! ;)
Okay, well I'm hoping more later. So later.
~Wade
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| And the hurt from the heart it would not subside.... |
[26 Sep 2002|07:16pm] |
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Thank God I Found You ~ Joe, Mariah, and 98* |
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So, is it possible to fall in love with someone like every waking moment? Maybe it’s just because that’s how I feel about Natalie but how she looks at life amazes me. I think I’m really weird sometimes and that feeling defiantly explains it. I thought I was in love 3 times, but non-of this compares to my feelings for Natalie. Sometimes I even wonder why I wasted my time on chasing after Christina or why I actually thought I could trust AJ after he broke my heart the first 100 times. Why that one day I thought Janie and I were meant to be and had fallen in love with her -- it was a bunch of shit. Then Zoe? *shrugs* Honestly, and no offence it was nothing. I felt nothing with her and I was just lying to myself cuz the whole time I was crushing on Natalie, never thinking it lead to this...
Natalie was the one for me all this time. I love her with every breath in me and I want to spend forever with her because I just can’t see my life without her anymore. She completes me and makes me who I am. I’m shocked it took me so long to grasp this. All along she was right here and I was too stupid to see it. Everything I do is going to be for her and I will live to make her happy. The only thing I can hope is that she’ll do the same and never break my heart because I’ve been left in the dirt too many times before. It doesn’t take a lot for me to trust someone, as you can see. But I know I can trust more than I can trust anyone else. I’ve also found my TRUE LOVE and SOUL MATE. This time it’s not fake, it’s all real. I married this woman because I want to able to spend forever with her and I know her feelings are the same. I mean least I’m hoping they are...
I don’t want to sound like she’s a piece of property or anything, but she’s mine all mine because I can’t help myself when she’s around. I just want her all to myself. (Jayce, Jup, and Avril are the only can share her with me *laughs* cuz it’s platonic). But seriously, yes. Thanks. So like I have said a million and one times before, I love her and thank God I’ve found her.
To wrap up this, I have found a song that I relate to and think about Natalie. So I leave with it. It’s definitely the perfect theme song.
( “Thank )
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| Oops. |
[26 Sep 2002|12:37am] |
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mood |
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I was to update this morning but I wasn't in the mood to sit down and type something up. Then the whole day went by so quick. *shrugs* So yeah I promise you all an update later. Right now my mind is too far away to even think. I'll be okay.
~Wade
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| The Best Birthday Ever. |
[18 Sep 2002|09:18am] |
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thankful |
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Destiny's Child ~ "Brown Eyes" |
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First, I'd like to thank everyone who had wished me a happy birthday. It means a lot...
So, last night I had the best darn birthday I could ever have. I married the girl of dreams last night, and I mean that…the girl of my dreams!!! This time it’s not some stupid passing “omg, I love you” it’s real. I felt it in every possible way last night. The way she kept smiling at me, how beautiful she looked, how every single word she spoke was real, and lastly the way she kissed me making me feel like everything around me in the world didn’t matter but her.
So yeah, nothing else matters, but the fact that I am finally fucking happy. I don’t want to lose her, ever. And if I did, I might just break down and cry, forever. We only basically eloped but I’d really like to have another wedding, but I see it looks like we’re copying and things so I won’t even bother. We’ll just do something on our own terms or whatever. I don’t care. I know that I have to tell my mother this. And I hope she excepts it. I also hope it’s alright with Natalie’s parents cuz you know it was all too soon. But some people don’t have to wait a lifetime to find someone like Natalie and I found in each other. I have waited a lifetime to find her, but well it’s finally here, and nothing is going to change that…never.
Now, all I need are suggestions for a wedding, but I don’t want anyone to think I’m copying them because we did exactly what you did and now we want a big wedding. Well excuse me, I guess. But really it’s not my fault. I love her. Simple as that and if you can’t deal with, fine whatever. Just deal with it on your own terms.
And lastly, Chris. I’d appreciate if your words of stupidity remain in your mouth because if you don’t have something intelligent to say don’t fucking say it at all. Got it? Good.
~Wade
PS. Wouldn't it be cool, if I Natalie and I had an icon of us together? *hinthinthint*
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| :) |
[15 Sep 2002|09:26pm] |
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mood |
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 indescribable |
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Britney Spears' Stronger (It's playing on my radio!) |
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Yesterday was an amazing day. I never in my life felt so complete. And now I feel so embarassed. But, it's so true. I've never felt so perfect, so right, so...God. I bet I'm such a loser right now because I've actually said this three times in my life, but you know what...out of all those times I've never made love with the person... I'll get to that in a sec...
The date was beautiful. We went to a French Resturant that I knew about and basically just ate our meal and talked the night away. After all that was over, I took her to her house. I only intended to kiss her a kiss goodnight, but I guess we couldn't stop. We began to make out. That kiss...there aren't words to even describe it. It was completly and totally amazing. When I let go, she had this gleam in her eye and with this sweet adoring face she invited me in. She made me coffee too. It was great coffee. *laughs* After the coffee she had this look in her eye, a look I had never seen. My only look back was "are you sure" and she nodded. The next thing I knew our bodies were like drawn to her bedroom and we made love. It was simply amazing. She took my virginity. Yeah, that's right all those people I've been with only made thus far. I feel complete now. Everything makes sense. I WILL NOT LEAVE HER. Finally, I've found a person...FINALLY. Why couldn't all this have been sooner?
So, to conclude my long update on how much I'm a dork when it comes to dates and stuff... I love you, Natalie.
Bye!
~Wade
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| I have a date tonight. |
[14 Sep 2002|11:17am] |
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Justin - Like I Love You (On Radio!) |
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I'm very excited. I just don't want to blush around her. I keep doing that whenever we talk. It's such an odd feeling. I just...*blushes* Ah, even when I think about her. She's truly special. I can't wait for tonight.
I see that Zoe and Chris are more than happy right now. Well that's just great. I'm happy for you. Really, I am. Have fun and that way you can leave me and Natalie alone. *small smile*
Well, I'm off. I have till 8 for my date, but I wanna go find the perfect outfit. *laughs* I've just got a lot of things to do today.
~Wade
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| Words Of Wisdom. |
[11 Sep 2002|03:11pm] |
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Misery - Mofftatts |
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I don't really know what to say about today. I know where I was and that's all I can remember. It was a devistating day and something I'll always have vivid in my mind, even if I do try and escape it.
I'll leave you with something that just seems appropiate right now.
Life isn't about keeping score. It's not about how many people call you and it's not about who you've dated, are dating, or haven't dated at all. It isn't about who you've kissed, what sport you play, or which guy or girl likes you. It's not about your shoes or your hair or the colour of your skin or where you live or go to school. In fact, it's not about grades, money, clothes, or colleges that accept you or not. Life isn't about if you have lots of friends, or if you are alone, and it's not about how accepted or unaccepted you are. Life just isn't about that. But life is about who you love and who you hurt. It's about how you feel about yourself. It's about trust, happiness, and compassion. It's about sticking up for your friends and replacing inner hate with love. Life is about avoiding jealousy, overcoming ignorance, and building confidence. It's about what you say and what you mean. It's about seeing people for who they are and not what they have. Most of all, it is about choosing to use your life to touch someone else's in a way that could never have been achieved otherwise. These choices are what life's about. -Nike Ad (lmao)
I love you all.
~Wade
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| Umm oops? |
[10 Sep 2002|08:41am] |
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mood |
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nervous |
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Nelly + Kelly ~ Delima |
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So, I’m a hypocrite because I lied to Zoe. I told her a few things about my trust issues and then I went right behind her back and did what I said I would never do. But, I don’t think you can help feelings and who knows where thoughts come from, they just appear. I like Natalie a lot. I mean a lot. She took my breath away like 3 times last night. And as rude as that may sound, nothing like that ever happen with Zoe. The kissing might have been amazing, but I haven’t even kissed Natalie yet and I’ve already got this strange feeling inside me. I feel like such a horrible, guilty, and pitiful person right now. I don’t know if Zoe wants to remain friends with me. She definitely doesn’t want to be friends with Natalie. I do, I guess that means that I won’t remains friends with her. Maybe we could on pretending like non of this happened.
I think once again, I fucked things up. I should just dance for the rest of my life and not worry about anything else in my world. :-/ Ya know? Natalie asked me to marry her. That was like a shock, but I think she was joking. But then it was kind of serious. I told her after our “first” date so we can get to know each other, but I was joking with that. Marrgie? We’ve only just met right? And then she said fine. Wow, do you think it’s way too soon? I mean okay, yeah we just met but some people meet there soul mates as quickly as possible. Why do I feel like Natalie is the one? Well, I do hope she’s serious and do hope she’s the one and my heart doesn’t get stepped on, even if I do deserve it the most painfulness way ever.
~Wade
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| No. |
[09 Sep 2002|09:47am] |
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I refuse to have Zoe be mad at Natalie because of my feelings. If I like someone I can't stop that. And you can screw me over Zoe, I don't care. Just don't be mad at Natalie. Be mad at me. And that's all I have to say.
I'll update more later. I have my desicion actually. *smile*
~Wade
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